(This is part of my 20 minute writing practice. I write for 20 minutes, check for typos, choose a pic if I’ve time – and press send! you can find out more here)
So, Here I am, writing once again with the timer on. And I’ve been pondering what might come to me that would be useful, kind or necessary and worth writing today…
I think it could be useful for me to explain a little about how coaching sessions bring about change for those we work with. As I’ve said before, wouldn’t it be wonderful if coaches became as normal as dentists – sore tooth? Go to the dentist, want to change something? Go to a coach.
….. before I do though, it seems important to mention that I coach with an integral belief that whoever I’m working with already has the answer somewhere within them – or at least the capacity to work it out and know what to do.
Inside you, and me, and everyone, is an inner knowing, a wisdom. And it is my job to support whomever I am working with to access that from within them, and bring it into focus.
In order to uncover this knowing, each coaching conversation, we work out together:
- What work we will do together, what question to explore or what change to bring about;
- How we will know we have done the work; what the indicators will be
- And how we are going to do that work….
And then, we crack on.
A recent example for a session this week comes to mind …. A very capable and often calm lady, recently separated from her husband, has recently found her responses to others hard, prickly and difficult.
The work to do? was how to conjure a pause, a noticing, and then a calm and steadiness in a stressful situation.
How would we know we had done the work?
She wanted to feel a confidence in her ability that she can stop, and respond better when challenged.
How would we do it?
By tuning into how she would like to feel and experience these moments successfully. How she might respond if she could be exactly how she wished. To know exactly what that would be like, somatically, mentally, emotionally….
She realised that to practice noticing in the moment and knowing how to sense into a presence – even when faced with a rising anxiety or an external stressful situation would be the work. Finding presence.
And so using applied drama techniques, visualisation and meditation in our call together she was able to access within her, and then embody the sensations, thoughts and experience of finding presence in the moments she needs.
We then embedded this into a small external prompt, a necklace she wears, where she anchored that sensation of presence and calm.
She left feeling calmer and more confident she could still be at ease, and kind, in stressful situations….
And …. 5 days later, today, she sent a voice note: she was faced with a harsh comment at home. In that moment, she felt her necklace, breathed deeply and sensed back into the experience she wanted to create.
She said she was calm, and more gentle.
She has managed this on a daily basis all week.
It is a beginning, and she won’t manage it always (alas, still human are we all!) but it brings her comfort, and a sense of being in control, knowing that she can.
The truth is, if she can make this a regular practice, she will reduce experiences of stress and anxiousness and increase sensations of confidence, calm and kindness.
…. importantly, will then be able to respond with her calm wisdom. Which, by the way, was within her already. It was already there…. She had just covered it up….
I hope that might give you an idea of what a coaching call is like, and how it might support you or someone you know.
Thanks for reading this far 😊✨ speak in two weeks x
With all the difficulties that are happening right now in the world, if you know of anyone who could benefit from coaching, anywhere, I offer pro-bono coaching engagements with charities, or with those who need it as part of my practice. Please get in touch to talk it through.
If you’d like to read a few more of these, then please sign up at the very bottom of this webpage. And if you would like to experience coaching with me I always offer a free 1 hour coaching session, with no sales, just coaching. You can book it here.