So, it’s bee a while. A month in fact! Too long. And I missed 2 Fridays in my writing commitment. (Read more about why I have a writing practice here) I’m wondering if that is ok, really ok. In those moments, when I didn’t bother writing, and I gave up on my commitment that day, I told myself it was ok.
But, then, this week, I’ve been dipping into Robbie’s Swayle’s next, and enlivening read – “How to Keep Going When you want to Give Up”. And I realised, I was in danger of giving up writing again. And, I noticed, feeling just a little deflated and in the rumblings of failure about it. *
All August I have given myself good reasons (excuses perhaps) not to write ….. but delving into his second book this week has reminded me that I committed to this practice because….
I wanted to commit to something,
TO KEEP GOING at something.
TO KNOW – that I can be consistent.
Work my way out of a limiting belief that I can’t stick to anything.
To Be Consistent.** So here I am. Timer is on, and I am writing once again. Committing, and heading for consistency proof ….. and of course, attempting to forgive myself for slacking….
Now I am here though, I remember a whole host of reasons why it is important to find something small and manageable to be consistent with. Small steps. Baby steps. And then stage by stage watch it grow and build into something. This can be 15 minutes cleaning a day (see TOM) or reading 10 minutes a day until you finish a book. Or learning to play and instrument with 10 minutes practice a day.
Because, I begun to consider while writing this, that actually it is tangled up in self worth. I remember John Rogers found a good metaphor – We can imagine self worth as the water in a plastic bottle. Every time we commit to something but don’t follow through, we are making tiny pin prick in the bottle….
If we let someone down, psh….a little water starts trickling out
if we are late, drip drip….
if we tell a small lie…a little more starts to dribble,
if we are rude, psh….a bit more sprays out onto the floor
….. if we make excuses to ourselves to not write over August (ahem, cough) when we committed to doing so – no. matter. what. …. well you know what happens next…… pshhhhhhhh
And so the water in the bottle slowly empties. By a trickle, but slowly it becomes less and less full. Until we can, eventually begin to believe, we aren’t capable. Those more negative thoughts in our heads gather evidence, ‘negative self talk’, as my colleague likes to call it. The chatter get’s louder.
They can creep up on us before we realise their strength….Sometimes that means we become uncomfortable, grumpy, not the best of ourselves for those around us. Sometimes it can wreak havoc on our mental health. Sometimes it simply means we go through much of our lives having proved our limiting beliefs to be true. And so never fulfilling our potential, or feeling fulfilled.
As humans when we commit and we value it, then we show value in ourselves.
I made a promise to myself. And didn’t follow through the whole time. I’ve noticed. I caught myself. I forgive myself. I am keeping going now. aaaaaand there goes the timer – and now once again I have to be brave. Check for typos and post this. Eeeesh now should I just give up? It is tempting! You guys might actually have read this far….arghhh! Scary. So easy not to bother….!
But no, I have re-committed. Not just to the writing practice, but to BELIEVING IN MYSELF just a little bit more.
Something we can all do with bolstering sometimes.
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*Worth noting that Robbie’s first book is sited in the first of these blogs, and was the inspiration for this writing practice in the first place
**just realised – ha ha like TBC – I will be ‘To Be Confirmed’ – yes I am consistent!
Joey is a fully qualified Theatre for Development Practitioner and Certified Strategic Intervention (SI) Coach under teachers Tony Robbins, Chloe Madanes, Mark Peysha and Magali Peysha, with 20 years experience in the field of facilitating, training and coaching.