Valuing our Commitments Means Valuing our Worth?

So, it’s bee a while. A month in fact! Too long. And I missed 2 Fridays in my writing commitment. (Read more about why I have a writing practice here) I’m wondering if that is ok, really ok. In those moments, when I didn’t bother writing, and I gave up on my commitment that day, I told myself it was ok. 

But, then, this week, I’ve been dipping into Robbie’s Swayle’s next, and enlivening read – “How to Keep Going When you want to Give Up”. And I realised, I was in danger of giving up writing again. And, I noticed, feeling just a little deflated and in the rumblings of failure about it. *

All August I have given myself good reasons (excuses perhaps) not to write ….. but delving into his second book this week has reminded me that I committed to this practice because….

I wanted to commit to something,

TO KEEP GOING at something.

TO KNOW – that I can be consistent.

Work my way out of a limiting belief that I can’t stick to anything.

To Be Consistent.** So here I am. Timer is on, and I am writing once again. Committing, and heading for consistency proof ….. and of course, attempting to forgive myself for slacking…. 

Now I am here though, I remember a whole host of reasons why it is important to find something small and manageable to be consistent with. Small steps. Baby steps. And then stage by stage watch it grow and build into something. This can be 15 minutes cleaning a day (see TOM) or reading 10 minutes a day until you finish a book. Or learning to play and instrument with 10 minutes practice a day.

Because, I begun to consider while writing this, that actually it is tangled up in self worth. I remember John Rogers found a good metaphor – We can imagine self worth as the water in a plastic bottle. Every time we commit to something but don’t follow through, we are making tiny pin prick in the bottle….

If we let someone down, psh….a little water starts trickling out

if we are late, drip drip….

if we tell a small lie…a little more starts to dribble,

if we are rude, psh….a bit more sprays out onto the floor

….. if we make excuses to ourselves to not write over August (ahem, cough) when we committed to doing so – no. matter. what. …. well you know what happens next…… pshhhhhhhh

And so the water in the bottle slowly empties. By a trickle, but slowly it becomes less and less full. Until we can, eventually begin to believe, we aren’t capable. Those more negative thoughts in our heads gather evidence, ‘negative self talk’, as my colleague likes to call it. The chatter get’s louder. 

They can creep up on us before we realise their strength….Sometimes that means we become uncomfortable, grumpy, not the best of ourselves for those around us. Sometimes it can wreak havoc on our mental health. Sometimes it simply means we go through much of our lives having proved our limiting beliefs to be true. And so never fulfilling our potential, or feeling fulfilled. 

As humans when we commit and we value it, then we show value in ourselves. 

I made a promise to myself. And didn’t follow through the whole time. I’ve noticed. I caught myself. I forgive myself. I am keeping going now. aaaaaand there goes the timer – and now once again I have to be brave. Check for typos and post this. Eeeesh now should I just give up? It is tempting! You guys might actually have read this far….arghhh! Scary. So easy not to bother….!

But no, I have re-committed. Not just to the writing practice, but to BELIEVING IN MYSELF just a little bit more. 

Something we can all do with bolstering sometimes. 

With all the difficulties that are happening right now in the world, if you know of anyone who could benefit from coaching, anywhere, I offer pro-bono coaching engagements with charities, or with those who need it as part of my practice. Please get in touch to talk it through.

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*Worth noting that Robbie’s first book is sited in the first of these blogs, and was the inspiration for this writing practice in the first place

**just realised – ha ha like TBC – I will be ‘To Be Confirmed’ – yes I am consistent!

Joey is a fully qualified Theatre for Development Practitioner and Certified Strategic Intervention (SI) Coach under teachers Tony Robbins, Chloe Madanes, Mark Peysha and Magali Peysha, with 20 years experience in the field of facilitating, training and coaching.

4 thoughts on “Valuing our Commitments Means Valuing our Worth?

    1. Thanks Julian. I wonder what those thoughts are….. enjoy the reflection time. And your commitment to many lovely allotment plants too ☺️

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  1. Love this, Joey – and SO GLAD you picked it up again. That always feels like the key moment for me – what we do in the moments we slip. Welcome back to the writing practice. And love the bottle metaphor. I can totally feel that in my experience, too.

    And I wonder: what does keeping a commitment do to the bottle? Does it cover one of those holes? Fill the bottle up a bit? Something like that, right?

    (Also, thanks for the lovely words about the books – it’s really meaningful to me that they are making a difference to you.)

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    1. Yes Robbie! I love that….. perhaps they slightly melt the plastic so it moulds back over the hole. And perhaps they top up too?

      The books are creating great value Robbie… but I think you know that for sure too?! Many of us are picking them up and using them. Simple, useful, and using them to our advantage and the advantage of those around us. Love it that you follow these 😁

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