This is part of my 20 minute writing practice. I start the timer, write for 20 minutes, stop. Check for typos and press ‘publish’…. You can learn more on my post “A Little Inspiration” on the 4th of March.
Timer is on….
“So, I have sat for a few moments, cleared my mind and asked – ‘what will be useful, kind and necessary to write about today?’
And I listened for an answer….
Listening…..
Ooooh….
Something around Listening.
Yes listening! I am so in awe right now of how powerful listening is! I can write about this…
My coaching practice has shown me the power of listening time and again, but also outside in relationships, as parents, at work. True listening is truly wonderful.
For me there are a number of reasons I have learned why this is: it brings about calm; it makes people more bright and inventive; and it allows people to feel valued.
I’m wondering if you believe me and are asking for evidence….
Honestly, Listening is magical.
I shall explain….
Firstly, I have often in my workshops used a Closed Eye exercise that involve simply listening to a piece of paper falling to the floor. I stand in the centre of a circle of the group. First I let go of an A4 size piece of paper and let it drop, then I tear it in half, then quarters, then eights, dropping a smaller and smaller piece – each time asking people to raise their hand when they hear it land.
Sometimes the tiniest piece of paper can be heard as it gently floats and lightly taps the floor beneath. This process has a magical ability to calm everyone participating. It require focus, stillness, and calm. Then we listen to all we can hear: within us, within the room, and beyond the room….and the silence, and lack of it, brings about calm, peace, ease.
It’s magic and beautiful to experience as a group.
Secondly, when you consciously listen you receive all the person speaking has to say. It is almost like meditation. Pause, look, hear, absorb…. the ‘sender’ or ‘speaker’, or ‘thinker’ and you will give them something – they benefit on two levels:
One – the feeling of being truly heard is so valuable. Someone listening, just for listening’s sake, will accept all that is being ‘sent’ our spoken. The listener will wait until the speaker has finished (NO interruptions), then will summarise what has been said, check it, and allow the speaker to say anything they felt wasn’t quite right.
Just that process in itself gives great value.
AND secondly – that process – it actually makes space for the speaker to THINK BETTER. The lister allows space for ‘speaking out to think out’.
People who are being truly listened to become more resourceful, more able to be creative, explorative, and often therefore find solutions themselves, which, so fantastically, can deepen and strengthen self reliance and confidence.
Listening is magic.
Truly listening.
Being Heard is magic.
Truly being heard.
I will practice it today – I invite you to as well –
Even if only to what you can hear, right now”
Time is up, I’ll write again in two weeks x
With all the difficulties that are happening right now in the world, if you know of anyone who could benefit from coaching, anywhere, I offer pro-bono coaching engagements with charities, or with those who need it as part of my practice. Please get in touch to talk it through.
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Joey Owen - Confidence Coach 