This is part of 20 minute writing practice – I set the timer, see what comes to my mind, write for 20 minutes, stop writing, check for typos, add a photo, and post .
This week – if you haven’t time to read then you can just skip to the end bullets to remind yourself of ways to find calm….
Timer is set…
“Well this week I find myself with a feeling of MANY THINGS TO DO. The thoughts crept up before I had really noticed them. And by then a knotting in my stomach, a tightness in my chest, and it was too late – an old negative pattern was ignited – I’m on high alert, this driven, crazy driven Joey – addicted to my to do list and timetable as if nothing else matters!
So, on Tuesday I really found myself questioning, like so many of my clients – can I do all of this without stress? Can I get perspective again? Do I do too much? Why don’t I get enough done? I’m sure you’re familiar with the pattern….. 😉
I decided to make a different type of bucket list (a practice I have done with some of the wonderful people I work with coaching them) – let’s see what ‘buckets’ (areas of your life) you are navigating right now. So…
- I am a wife and mother and all the time that takes and the tasks it involves.
- I spend time everyday in coaching sessions or facilitating workshops.
- I am a daughter, sister, friend
- I facilitate and coordinate project work in Nepal, on zoom, or deep in paperwork.
- I sing in a duo with my husband.
- I play rugby with an amazing team of women and I manage, and first aid at my son’s rugby squad
What I think we, and by that I mean my friends, co-workers and my clients – mostly women between the ages of 25-55 – we don’t realise how much we actually have to do.
How our lives are filled with many many MANY important things.
I wonder, looking back on this period of our lives when we are lucky enough to be old- will we look back in awe and ponder – how on earth did we manage that?!
Finding Calm, Sure and Steady.
SO…..I do have some ways to find calm when I start to panic about making sure I can do everything well enough at the time I need to.
And perhaps – as I have 3 minutes left – they may be helpful to list – and useful to you, dear reader:
– I take time just a moment in the morning to breathe deeply. If only for one minute – I tend to look at something, breathe deeply and see what beauty I can find. This helps to calm you and allow you to find perspective.
– I find my ‘Have Done’ list more helpful and healthy than my ‘to do’ list. I list what I’ve actually done throughout days when I feel I am not accomplishing enough and the pressure of that.
-I do sport – any kind of sport. Running, yoga, meeting my team at rugby has been amazing this year for finding calm and strength. When I really do prioritise and make myself, even if it is just 15 minutes, then my days just goes better. Every time. The physiological and psychological impact of that is overwhelmingly positive.
– If I cannot do sport, then I have a cold shower which makes me more present and clear. (and awake!)
– If I cannot do any of those things at all, I can keep doing anything I am doing, BUT I have a practice where I can just ‘notice’ in any given moment. Notice – the feel of the keyboard now on my fingertips. Notice -the sun on the windowsill in the corner of my eye. Notice – I can feel love, happiness, by remembering a memory where I laughed out loud. Notice – ah, the timer going off today! 20 minutes is up.
And I know there are many more things that might be useful when you begin to feel the overwhelm of
too. many. things. to. do. arghhhh!!!!
Just remember what you can do. Be realistic and savour what you have actually done. Because I bet you anything – you have done plenty already today. It all depends on how you look at it.”
With all the difficulties that are happening right now in the world, if you know of anyone who could benefit from coaching, anywhere, I offer pro-bono coaching engagements with charities, or with those who need it as part of my practice. Please get in touch to talk it through.
If you’d like to read a few more of these, then please sign up at the very bottom of this webpage. And if you would like to experience coaching with me I always offer a free 1 hour coaching session, with no sales, just coaching. You can book it here.