Life is What You Make It?

What Circular Walks Have Taught me this Summer

We’ve all heard – “life is what you make it”. Our perspectives are everything. But often, it is hard truly believe. We get into a habit of thinking life is largely out of our control, or, if it is within our control, then we berate ourselves for making a mess of it. 

This summer I have been house sitting in Cornwall. I spotted a book of Circular Walks in Cornwall on the windowsill, and immediately loved it. I’ve managed to do several of them in the last few weeks. 

On one this week, I found myself in a wooded valley that was NOT on the map I thought I was following… lost again! ……but, somehow, the softness of the air, the dappled sunlight, and the sound each step made beneath my feet caused me to slow right down. Find ease, awe, peace and a settled sensation took over for a while listening to my footsteps.

It occurred to me these circular walks can represent life, and how we humans take the pilot seat and navigate our way through this one, precious one we have. And here, I find a good example of ‘life is indeed what you make of it’.

Si in exploration of the view that what we think and feel is the only reality there is – I tested it.

These two experiences of walks I have had give a flavour of the power of my approach ….

Before you read them, bear in mind, it’s Cornwall. Rugged, wild, serene, beautiful, with clear poverty and clear affluence, there’s mud, dust, sand, grassland, wildly tropical looking plants, woodland, scrubland, old tin mine architecture, rolling hills, sheer cliffs, rockpools, a million brassicas and cows, pubs, shops, busy beaches, deserted beaches, and pasties. It is hugely varied. (ahem….like life?!) 

So….I present:

• Exhibit A) 

A ‘feeling things are hard’ day – a negative approach, uncomfortable and unhappy with myself, and my life:

“I have a map, a phone with a map, lunch, water, people, and my brain – so WHY do I keep taking wrong turns? Why do I end up here? Just make the journey harder and longer? I’m so stupid. And no bloody signal on my phone!! ARGHH now I can’t work out where I am!!! I’ll have to walk for hours. Urgh.

Oh No! the weather has turned, I just don’t have the right stuff, it’s pouring, no raincoat, it’s sunny, no sunhat. Why did I travel light? – how stupid! Now I am suffering!!! 

Darn, there are people ahead –– urgh they are so slow! I can’t get past …..what must they think of me stomping though? They probably think I’m idiot. Oh I really just want this place all to myself, can’t deal relating with others, they’ll think I’m an idiot. Which I am. Urgh.  

And why did I choose a circular walk? I must come back to the same place. My old car, in a car park I spent too much money on. Oh, I’m miserable, I’ve caused this because I chose this, life goes round and round in bloody trudging circles. I’m such an idiot.”

…..Etc etc

• Exhibit b) 

A positive approach, tuning into a sense of gratitude, ok in myself, and with my life – even the bits I judge to be apparently unsurpassably hard. I’m present, and taking action. This is ok, I am ok. 

“Oh it’s so SO good I know where I am coming back to. I’ve my lovely car, contributing to the local Parish Council who maintain it well. I can get somewhat lost, I can explore. I have support in place – map, phone, people on route, water, a delicious packed lunch I can’t wait to eat. And I know that the car won’t be far away. I can come back to it if the walk is too much.

…..Oh again? I took a wrong turn again? Thank goodness I did because now I am here. Look up! What can I see and hear?….

Eeeeesh and I’ve phone signal. Well, actually, it gives me more peace, shows me I am just fine on my own. AND it means I get to explore more, following my intuition, and see things more – look towards the long view so I can get my bearings. 

I am so lucky because it’s lighter and easier I travelling light. Oh – no- I think it is RAINING!  Erm…. I have shorts and a vest on. Shit. Ok…. no, it’s ok. Look for a tree Joey. Laugh at looking a bit drowned. 

Pause, 

watch the droplets fall all around. 

This is ok.

I can wait it out under this ancient steady tree, 

or get soaked and dry out later.

It’s all ok. 

Oh look – people are ahead! I can smile and chat with them, engage with the wonderful folk who too, are valuing this walk and on a similar path. I wonder what information we can share, and what else we may exchange meeting fleetingly. 

Oooh I loved her story; 

I’m grateful for his directions; 

…….and their dog is so cute…..” 

…….Etc etc

Quite a difference eh? 

I know you know this already – but do you really KNOW it? 

Interestingly after every single walk I’m pleased I completed it. Glad I saw it through. But – when I haven’t enjoyed them there’s been a hue of regret, and self-berating, that I didn’t make the most of it. 

I get all this does NOT feel like a choice much of the time. But there is truth here, if we practice really having faith in ourselves, if we know that we have all we need to be ok NO MATTER WHAT, then we can observe our responses, and we can adjust accordingly. As I am kind of doing here – by writing this out!

Sometimes practice days/months/years (eeeesh) and sometimes it can be the flick of a switch inside.

The trick I have found is working out the best way for me. 

Keeping going, no matter what. Moving forward and finding the best way that can create the best value, and best outcomes for everybody. 

I’ve learned not to underestimate the value of this type of learning – the moments when you can truly embody something you’ve heard, embedding it into your own life-state. It is then so much easier to USE the insight to the advantage of you, but therefore, inevitably, those around you. 

Even if sometimes it may take a while. 

Have patience, 

keep going, 

keep practicing.